2018-06-19 @ 11:36 a.m.

It's been a strange week. Seems dland and I picked the same week to lose our shit.

There must still be enough folks here to keep the place profitable, right?

Or is this turning into a sink for the owners?

Anyway.

Almost two years ago, not long after Aubrey and I split, I hit on this girl at the smoke shop. She was talking about physics with her coworker and I mentioned what I was doing in school, gave her my number, and she never called or texted.

Two thursdays ago, she chases me out the store, gives me her number, tells me to call or whatever. I text, we chat, seems good. She reveals she's married, but it's an open marriage? I can play.

So after a couple dates where she's checkin' in with hubby every few hours to make sure shit's kosher, we get to the bedroom and fool around, but she doesn't wanna fuck. I get it. I've been letting her make the first moves, 'cause husband. But we revisit this same situation the next day, and the next, for what in "waiting-for-sex"-time is an eternity. I start to get the feeling that they're not anywhere near stable enough for this shit, and she invites me over for dinner with hubby. Says bring condoms. Brings condoms and shank. The jealousy is visceral, like the room is full of molasses. We fool around a bit while dude's watching the television, but now she isn't hopping up on my dick like she was at my place, so, you know, I'm not gonna make the move in that situation. Go home, feed dog, go to sleep. Get text booty called, tell her to come over to my place. She says tomorrow.

As tomorrow is drawing to a close, their shit melts down. End of the night she says they're getting a divorce, it's been a while coming, he's been looking for a way out, they've not been into each other, et cetera. I pivot to friend, ask if she's sure, tell her that sucks, encourage her to stay in school, and pretty much sign out after telling her I'm happy to pick up where we were once she's comfy.

Next day I drive out of town to visit my dad for father's day. She's chatty, seems good, is apparently staying with a friend. Only two things have gotten me to text and drive, and that idiocy which comes with this shit is one of those things. When I get home, we're still chatty. I mention I'd fantasized about her being at my place when I got home. I haven't mentioned it, but for the last week we had swapped some real filth via snapchat, so this was a mild disclosure. She says "come pick me up". I pick her up... from her and her husband's place? And then we go back to my place and fuck 'til about 4am. It was great.

Next morning she has me drop her off at that same spot. Says she's gonna go look for a place today. Maybe I should've offered to help, but I didn't want to overstep; she told me the type of place she was looking for and I suggested a part of town to investigate. We say bye, she goes home.

radio silence for about 8 hours.

and then a deluge of "we're getting back together" and "can't ever see you again" and "stay away from the store".

Now I'm an understanding man. These folks didn't know what they were getting into, and it fucked their shit up. And I was absolutely a catalyst, but I'm not uncomfortable with any of the decisions I made or things I said. But I do feel like shit. Like 40% heartbreak, 30% angry for feeling used, and 30% glad to have had the fun. And the fun here, maybe the lesson here for me, I don't know.

The thing with the girl was nice. I'd almost certainly answer if she called. But I'm not sure what I'd say. I'm definitely not looking to repeat that whole experience.

Staying away from married couples in the future.